breakTHROUGHArts
a free newsletter for visual artists

November 2003 Contents

I. Feature Article: Working with Outer Critics
II. Friends in Print: When you feel like reading
III. Energy Management: Translations from the Psych Research Lab, the Board Room, and the Shrink’s Couch
IV. Creative Links: Sites for visual artists
V. Newsletter Info: Sharing this newsletter, subscribing, and unsubscribing

I. Feature Article: Working with Outer Critics
Janice told us about her latest “rejection” while we were having lunch. She’d given her mother-in-law, Amy, a framed paper collage for her birthday which had been met with stilted praise and thanks. As she talked, Janice was clearly reliving the sting of that lack of appreciation. Our monthly part-time artists’ group talked it over and ended up laughing about similar reactions from relatives. We all agreed it was easier to handle a clear rejection from a show juror than veiled indifference from our family members.

Janice also began to piece together evidence that her mother-in-law was uncomfortable with any art that wasn’t clear or familiar. Later, she went back to her: “Amy, it seems to me that my gift to you was not exactly your favorite kind of art. Is there something more to your style that I could give you?”

Amy allowed, with guidance from Janice, as how she really liked art with flowers and that her new bathroom was in green and rose. Janice offered to make her a piece with flowers that would go with the bathroom. On their next visit, Amy was delighted by the floral piece and Janice took her collage home to an honored spot in her dining room.

All criticism of our art is feedback. Sometimes very painful feedback. Janice said later that she was able to pull a u-turn with her mother-in-law because she had a good long talk with us, her support group. By talking with trusted friends, she had 1) accepted that the work had been rejected by a particular person, 2) stood up for the fact that it was one of her finer pieces, and 3) extracted some information wrapped in the critical feedback. Specifically, she learned that her mother-in-law didn't like abstract art; in general, she re-learned that the divide between abstract and representational is sometimes a great chasm that will not be crossed by a particular audience, regardless of the quality of the work.

Talking with friends who can be trusted to understand the art you make is a strong and flexible tool for extracting information from otherwise painful feedback. Also, in this case, the whole group benefited by planning their own “rejection routines” for the future.
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II. Friends in Print: When you feel like reading

See, Carolyn. Making a Literary Life: Advice for Writers and Other Dreamers. 2002. Although this author’s focus is on writing, her chapter on rejection of your work (Make Rejection a Process) is worth a look. Her lively style may keep you reading further, looking for writers' solutions to creative problems might apply to your visual art.

Savage, Elayne. Don’t Take It Personally: The Art of Dealing with Rejection. 2002. Savage builds on her long experience as a therapist to help us understand our own personal sensitivities to rejection. Well-written specifics about responses to criticism and rejection in all areas of our lives.
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III. Energy Management: Translations from the Psych Research Lab, the Board Room and the Shrink’s Couch

Tend and Befriend – The Woman’s Stress Response
You probably suspected this, but researchers are just now getting to it. It turns out that females are likely to connect with others under stress. This is contrary to the long-held theory that stress leads to fight or flight, one based largely on research with males.

Shelley Taylor and her colleagues at UCLA reviewed decades of research and found that females are not likely to flee in the face of threat or stress. They speculate that this is both because flight would pose a danger for offspring, and because females' levels of oxytocin promote caregiving, attachment, and social contact while inhibiting aggression.

In research with humans, females are more likely than males to “seek out and use social support in all types of stressful situations, including health-related concerns, relationship problems, and work-related conflicts.”

My list of stress responses has always included many options: fight, flight, freeze, freak, friendship. Now, research emphasizes this last option - that of supporting others or seeking support.

As an artist, this would be a good time to review how you handle stress. Whatever your gender or hormonal levels, here are some questions to ponder or use for journaling:
   - What are your typical responses to stress about your art?
   ___friendship? ___fight?  ___flight?  ___freeze?  ___freak?
   - Who sees your unfinished or "rejected" work?
   - What kind of feedback do you want? Do you ask for?
   - Whose art work are you a trusted support for?
    (If you're interested in joining a support group for your art go to www.dianereardon.com and click on GROUPS for three different telephone coaching series. A new group is beginning January 2004: Clear the Decks: Making Time for Making Art.)   
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IV. Creative Links
www.apa.orgThe public portion of the American Psychological Association site provides quick and digestible reports of recent research on timely topics such as stress, men and women, attention deficit issues, etc.   

www.works-consulting.com  There are many art/business coaches out there that specialize in marketing. I can personally vouch for Miriam Work's integrity and energetic style of supporting artists, including how to roll with the predictable rough and tumble of having your work rejected or criticized.  Check her site for some good books on art marketing as well.
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V. Newsletter Info
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This material is included on the breakTHROUGH Creativity Coaching website (www.dianereardon.com). All material is copyrighted ©, 30 October 2003, Diane Reardon. All rights reserved. Visit the website for back issues and details on scheduling a complimentary one-hour coaching session.